The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Establishing the proper habits is the key to achieving success in life

Humans are creatures of habit. Our routines define our character and exert an invisible force on our behavior. Whatever we do is a function of our practices. Therefore, the best way to achieve any worthwhile goal is to train ourselves to do things that effortlessly lead to the end target.

Notably, the most complex and vital part is being willing and ready to implement sustainable change in your life. Real change comes from the inside out. We’ve heard much about success, improving your life, and acting on it. As far back as 1776, Stephen Covey divided fiction into two groups: promoting personality ethics and teaching character ethics, the latter being the path to sustainable change.

The idea behind this concept is that you can learn specific skills to produce behavioral change. Understanding the intricacies of verbal and nonverbal communication will bring about desirable change. Personality ethics provides a shortcut. However, this approach doesn’t last because it doesn’t result in sustainable change.

“Character change is more sustainable than behavioral change” –Stephen R. Covey.

Personality ethics is superficial but attractive because it provides a quick fix. Working on our character is not easy. It requires identity change. We must adjust our worldview, belief systems, and habits to put ourselves on the right course for sustainable success. For example, virtues such as fidelity, integrity, and honesty can only come from within; they aren’t techniques to learn. Instead, they are character traits that come from a particular belief system. The good news is that you can adjust your belief system and develop the habits to make you highly effective.

Direct your attention to specific areas in your life and reshape your paradigms to initiate profound, lasting change

You need to pay attention to seven key areas to become highly effective. It would help if you learned to

1. Act, not react.
2. Predict consequences before pursuing the endeavor.
3. Schedule your priorities instead of prioritizing your schedule.
4. Seek the standard benefits.
5. Listen to others before trying to be heard.
6. Work with others to achieve exponential results.
7. Keep an effective system running.

You should start exploring your paradigms once you’ve focused on these areas. Paradigms are the filter through which we see the world around us. Two people might look at a crowd and see entirely different things. It is a function of the paradigm they use. When your worldview aligns with the basic principles upon which the universe operates, you can navigate life successfully. A person with a negative paradigm will continually see negativity, while a positive one will find comfort even in pain.

“A paradigm is a pattern we apply to explain certain phenomena.”—Stephen R. Covey.

Our set of paradigms determines our character. Paradigms can spell the difference between success and failure in business and relationships. A pattern shift occurs when we question our set behaviors and attitudes and gradually change them. For example, in a relatively silent subway car, Stephen Covey experienced a paradigm shift one Sunday morning. A man and his children boarded, and the vehicle became noisy immediately. Surprisingly, the man did nothing to control his “undisciplined children.” Stephen Covey became so irritated by the noise that he asked the father to supervise his children. The man said they were coming from the hospital where their mother had died. He didn’t want to control the children because they were all distressed. His answer switched Stephen Covey’s mood from irritation and annoyance to compassion and willingness to help. That is the power of the paradigm.

Paradigm shifts, while not sudden, are powerful catalysts for change. They require a deliberate attempt to shift from the way we perceive things to developing qualities universally recognized as charitable.

“Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationships with others.”— Stephen R. Covey.

**We must prioritize exercising our capacity for proactivity overreaction.**

Being proactive distinguishes us from other animals who respond to external stimuli. Different animals react based on their genetic programming. They cannot analyze incentives. Humans can respond rather than react to things that happen to them. Unfortunately, not all of us use this human advantage, which is what we need to learn to fix.

“Being proactive is taking responsibility for your actions instead of blaming circumstances.”— Stephen R. Covey.

Reactive people have their behavior and emotions dictated by external circumstances and feelings. When you hail a taxi, and someone else jumps in, you blame them. Reactive people also fail to take responsibility when things are unplanned.

Proactive people believe their mood or behavior is a function of their internal engineering. Rather than blame others for failure, they seek the way forward. They view life in terms of two concentric circles:

• Circle of concern
• Circle of influence

The first circle relates to things we worry about: the bills we need to pay, the loans we need to refund, the weather conditions, changing economic status, etc. The second one, the circle of influence, contains things we can change. Working in this area makes it expand when you recognize the things you can change. Yet, the circle shrinks when you focus on something you have little or no control over.

Proactivity makes you a highly competent person in the most extenuating circumstances. Austrian neurologist Victor Frankl was repeatedly imprisoned in German concentration camps during World War II. Despite the torture and deplorable conditions, he chose to respond rather than react to his circumstances. His whole focus was on his mind since that was the only thing Frankl could control. He thought of a happier life and how he would narrate his experiences in the concentration camps to others. Frankl used the small gap between external stimuli and action to find his freedom.

You can challenge yourself to be proactive for 30 days. When you feel tempted to blame others for your problems, take responsibility. Remember that the real issue is not the problem but how you react.

Master the art of crafting exact mental images and impeccable mission statements

We do things twice. First, we conceive an idea in our minds and then execute it in the real world. Before building a house, we draw a plan specifying the number of rooms, layout, size, and other intricate details. You are more prone to mistakes if you erect a building without careful planning. To win, you must visualize what winning means and then implement it. This can be done by creating a mental picture of your goal, breaking it down into smaller steps, and then creating a mission statement that clearly articulates what you want and how you plan to achieve it.

“Proper planning is the key to the impeccable execution of any worthwhile goal.”— Stephen R. Covey.

Could you create time for visualization? Please write down your end goals and itemize the steps to reach them. Before you begin, look at the end. Anticipate obstacles and plan solutions ahead of time. You will not lose your way if you ask for directions repeatedly. Please don’t rush. Plan, prepare, and execute.

Visualization helps to increase effectiveness. Consider this: What words would grace your resting place if you died today? Many of us are working efficiently but not effectively. We are achieving goals that won’t matter in the end. There is an old saying that when you do not know where you are going, anywhere else becomes a destination.

To be efficient is to do much in so little time. Without a clear goal in mind, efficiency can become dangerous. You could be making progress but not in the right direction. Being effective means pursuing things that matter and understanding that everything else wastes time and effort. Productive people don’t just achieve random goals. They live intentionally because they can see the big picture and invest their resources in the real deal. To define your goals and creed, write about your mission. It is a document that clarifies your principles and fundamental values. Your mission statement will guide your actions. Writing a mission statement requires careful consideration; you shouldn’t do it in a hurry because it will form the foundation of your life.

“Once you have that sense of mission, you have the essence of your proactivity. You have the vision and the values which direct your life.”—Stephen R. Covey.

Establish your priorities and pursue outcomes that benefit everyone involved

There are so many things that jostle for our attention. If you don’t take care, you will sacrifice the things that matter for items that are not important but appear to need our urgent attention. Time-management strategies that many of us apply often make us prioritize our existing schedule. This approach breeds efficiency rather than effectiveness.

“Spend your time on achieving priorities rather than scheduling them.”— Stephen R. Covey.

Based on urgency and importance, all your activities fall into four categories:

• Urgent things that are also important.
• Important things that are not urgent.
• Urgent things that are not important.
• Items that are neither important nor urgent.

The second category is the most important. It contains things that determine how our lives ultimately turn out. If we work in this direction, we will find that the urgent things in our lives decrease. However, we need to identify activities that fall into this category first. Then, we learn to allocate time to them intentionally.

Interactions with other people manifest our interconnectedness. In most situations, we try to have an edge over others when dealing with them. Someone else has to lose for us to win, but this is a wrong paradigm because two people with a win-lose approach might end up with a lose-lose outcome. There is usually enough for everyone’s needs, but not for everyone’s greed. When we think win-win, we create positive relationships that will be highly rewarding in the long run. Please ensure everyone leaves the negotiating table satisfied, even if the outcome is no deal. As long as the conditions satisfy both sides, there is no need to manipulate or pressure the other person. If that’s the case, it is a lose-lose situation for both; after all, not everyone feels excellent after bearing someone down.

To have a win-win mentality, we need to become sensitive and patient. These qualities will create an atmosphere of mutual trust that benefits everyone. We can also apply a win-win mentality to our relationships beyond business transactions. For example, how can we achieve a win-win situation in relationships with our spouses, children, parents, or colleagues? Talk to them about trying out the new agreement. Take action.

Build strong relationships with others by consistently making positive deposits into their emotional bank accounts

Goodwill, time, and effort are the currencies we spend in our interactions with people. The more of these we invest, the bigger our emotional deposit. Each time we hurt other people, we withdraw. A positive balance indicates a healthy relationship, and vice versa.

The best strategy for solving potential problems is to prevent them. Suppose we have no emotional investment in a specific relationship. In that case, we need to mind our words and deeds around people while taking steps to mend the connection.

“Keeping your promises is a beacon of reliance, the highest currency in the emotional bank.”— Stephen R. Covey.

The practices to maintain A-class relationships are numerous:

1. Empathy and excellent listening skills: selfishness, poor empathy, and broken promises are returnable like karma.
2. Personal integrity through loyalty and sensitivity to others’ needs: gossiping is the opposite of this virtue. Being ready to defend someone in their absence is a sign of courtesy.
3. Making space for others: engagement in peoples’ lives is a straightforward way to have healthy relationships.
4. Accountability: those who recognize their mistakes and apologize have more significant deposits in the emotional bank.

How would we feel if the doctor handed us pills without listening to us properly? Indeed, we would take their recommendations with suspicion. But we do it all the time with those around us. We hardly listen to understand; we listen to reply. We project our circumstances and thoughts onto others.

Therefore, empathy is one of the most valuable stocks we can invest in to make good deposits and positively impact others’ lives. Empathic listening requires us to immerse ourselves in the person’s worldview. We need to feel what they feel and think about how they believe.

Body language can conceal most negative emotions. Sometimes, we must ignore the words, look at people’s gestures, and focus on the sounds and other non-verbal cues. When we practice empathic listening, people will open up to us more and take our advice because they will realize that we are in sync with them. That is why good listeners usually have healthy relationships.

Communication experts say that body language and sounds comprise 90% of our words.

Respect and openness are essential ingredients for achieving synergy

When the sum is more than the parts combined, we have synergy. In other words, one plus one must be more than two. Differences in our worldviews and orientations make synergy difficult, if not impossible. But imagine if we are willing to admit our differences and recognize individual peculiarities. In that case, it may be possible to tap into the power of synergy. We don’t have to think the same way or have the same strengths and weaknesses.

“Synergy demands that we bring different things to the table, and we should value that.”—Stephen R. Covey

All the previous habits build up the following一: taking responsibility, listening to others to understand them, valuing others’ contributions, and applying them to solve a common problem to produce synergy.

David Lilienthal became the head of the Atomic Energy Commission after World War II. He assembled a team of the country’s best minds and told them to spend the first few weeks getting to know each other. He was heavily criticized for this, but his goal was to create an atmosphere of trust. This exercise created a healthy work environment that produced excellent results.

All the group members felt respect toward each other and found solutions to disagreements. Having observed each other as personalities, their respect converted into understanding. As a result, the combined knowledge led to practical outcomes. This communication strategy is affordable and replicable in any group setting. Its beauty is in respectful communication.

The latter is simple at first. However, high regard presupposes optimal maturity from the person. Respectful communication does not involve excessive emotions to the point of empathy. Here, recognition of others’ skills and knowledge is sufficient for productive results. Emotions, on the other hand, can cause personal confrontations. Either way, reliance is the key element of mature collaboration.

However, we must approach our interactions with others with pure motives. Although the outcome may be beyond our control, we must remain optimistic and open.

Open-mindedness is essential to achieving synergy. If we combine self-confidence and open-mindedness and analyze their views objectively, we can find it in our relationships with people we don’t get along with.

Prioritize sharpening your physical, spiritual, mental, and social life to maintain high effectiveness

We are the most critical asset in our lives. We are the only promise to ourselves and are free to respond to and change external circumstances. As long as we stay sensitive to everything around us, we will grow in value. Investment in ourselves is the only deposit that brings profit regardless of economic or social situation. To achieve this, we must care for ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually.

To sustain our effectiveness, we must take time to recharge our batteries. It is like sharpening a saw. When loggers cut down trees, they sharpen the saw to stay effective; this is never time wasted and is a worthwhile investment. The logger who does not stop to sharpen their saw will not cut down more trees than the one who does.

We must keep sharp in four dimensions of our lives as humans: physical, spiritual, mental, and social (emotional).

• Physically, we need to be mindful of what we eat, exercise regularly, and only allow a healthy dose of stress. Exercising feels more time-affordable when viewed as a 30-minute session per day.

• Spiritually, mindfulness exercises, prayer, and reflecting on our values and principles are essential practices. While each practice differs, the ultimate goal is achieving harmony within oneself. These practices also help define a personal mission or place in the world.

• Mentally, we must engage in our hobbies more and read good books. Cut down the time spent watching TV and create something worthwhile. Journaling and writing poems or letters are some examples. We can also be involved in planning and organizing events to keep our minds active.

• Socially, we can make efforts to build healthy relationships. We can participate in activities that involve other people and show genuine love to them. We can also try to live peacefully with everyone and have a pleasant charm.

At the same time, we should not isolate ourselves from others. We receive influence from others and affect them mutually. We serve as social mirrors for each other. The more positive the reflection is, the greater the chance of meeting proactive individuals and adopting their vision.

“Take time to reflect and renew your strength. Evaluating your performance helps you see what you must work on.”—Stephen R. Covey.

Conclusion

At first, humans are complicated. However, diving deep into our psyche, we see that there are simple keys to unlocking our potential. Stephen Covey observed them as parts of the human condition to offer seven essential habits to improve people’s lives significantly:

• Being proactive.
• Starting with the end in mind.
• Scheduling your priorities.
• Thinking win-win.
• Prioritizing understanding over being understood.
• Synergizing.
• Sharpening the saw.

How does today sound to you? Can we use these habits in the 21st century? Cultivating values, showing empathy for others, and not dispersing our energy over insignificant matters will make life more wholesome if we want to be highly effective in our lives, jobs, and relationships.

However, the new era requires resilience, flexibility, and critical thinking habits. We must learn to tolerate circumstances, perceive them as natural, and be willing to take risks. The environments are changing, and they have constantly been changing. The matter is that today, with all the advanced technology, we can observe these changes directly and with more scrutiny. Change underlies our entire existence and propels it to a large extent. And here is the catch associated with technology and the Internet in particular: accessing information and its influx can be dangerous if we treat it uncritically.

Perseverance, adaptability, and brainstorming may be a starter subset for the highly efficient person of the 21st century.

Here are some suggestions to enhance your support for others:

Be present when someone is going through a tough time. Your physical presence can provide immense comfort and reassurance, showing them they are not alone in their struggles.

Always express your gratitude by saying “thank you.” Recognizing and appreciating someone’s efforts, especially those who may feel insecure or uncertain, can help boost their confidence and encourage them to keep trying.

Practice active listening by fully engaging with the person speaking. Instead of redirecting the conversation to your experiences, focus on understanding their feelings and concerns. Ask thoughtful questions that invite them to share more about what’s on their minds, demonstrating your genuine interest in their well-being.